He Was More

The other day I tried to be more.

What I mean by that is, point blank, I’m horrible at cooking dinner for the household. I mean, my kids eat, don’t get me wrong. And they eat very good and very healthy. BUT let’s just say, I don’t like to cook much the past couple of years.

My husband normally takes over with that and he likes to cook anyway, so it works in a sense. He was on night shift and overslept so didn’t have much time to cook. He wanted to run out and grab dinner but let’s just say money’s tight. So I rushed into the kitchen to think of something. I had my mother in law on the phone talking me through how to use this Instapot thing that’s so popular. I’m not very good at all these new gadgets. You could say I should have been born before my time lol. Anyways, she helped me learn how to operate the thing. Once I got that figured out, I hopped on getting dinner started. Well....wasn’t having much luck, at all to say the least. The chicken wasn’t coming off the pack like it normally would for me, and let’s just say it was taking up way more time than I had hoped for. (Remember, my husband, overslept...) So while hubs took a shower and were doing his thing to get ready for the next shift that night, I was in the kitchen scrambling, to say the least. I ended up letting everything get to me and started crying. Uhhhh man I was overwhelmed. Literally, all I wanted to do was to step it up and help out my husband so he could have a good dinner for work. And it wasn’t working out very well. But my crying led to me praying. I just kept talking to Christ and just asking for the patience and strength to keep going, to at least get everything started. I just kept crying, but I just kept going. And it felt like I was getting no relief. Bummer right?? But as I said, I kept going. I got dinner started and took a moment to walk away. I did a little bible study to decompress from that moment and then went with the rest of my night. I was pretty productive too after that. I ended up getting a ton of dishes done, some extra cleaning, packing, and another dinner for the next day.

Well, later on, that night as I was doing my nighttime prayers and thanking God, I realized Christ WAS there with me while I was doing dinner. He granted me that relief of patience, self-control, and gave me the strength to finish it. Not only that, he helped me accomplish EVEN MORE than I ever dreamed of that night. That whole time I was crying at that moment while prepping dinner, I was so selfish and was thinking he wasn’t there in a sense. The reason I know he was there is because when I took the time to think about this, I remembered back to a time when a bottle brush not sitting still in the kitchen sink sent me into a panic attack that would cripple me. Or to the time when I would throw everything down and walk away at the first sign of struggle because I just ‘couldn’t do it’. I have come so far and why? Because of GOD and how he works through his son and through us! I'm just so blown away at how I let that slip my mind at that moment. But I am even more thankful I was able to stop and see the TRUTH even if it was a little while afterward. MAN, I am so thankful.

So although in my mind at the time, I was failing... I WAS NOT. Christ was holding me every step of getting that chicken apart and ready so I could begin dinner. Christ was holding me when I was crying because I felt like I was letting my husband down. Christ was holding me when I didn’t think I could accomplish much of anything in that moment and the fear of not later on. Christ was holding me whenever I needed him the most. I may have still struggled a tad, but it was enough to let me know that he’s there, helping me when I cannot help myself.

So that day, “I” wasn’t more even though “I” tried to be. But God sure was and he helped me be more. ❤️🙏

---

Thank you Lord for always reminding me that you are there; even if I am slow to see it and recognize it at times. Thank you for forgiving me when I can be selfish in not seeing you there helping me. You never cease to amaze me with your love, grace, and forgiveness. Thank you for loving me Lord.